Daydreams

Have been spending a lot of time daydreaming lately. Mostly about my own future. Am reaching a junction in my life where I will have to make a fairly big decision. Or what feels like one anyway. So instead of confront that I prefer to fantasise.

The most common situation I dream of is the idea of having my own little farm. It'd be, preferably, a nice old stone building. I wouldn't be farming as a profession or anything. It'd just be a piece of land where I can grow my own food and grain. Maybe keep a few animals. Just enough to mean I could live off the land.

Maybe there'd be a bit of excess. Enough that I could perhaps sell a bit of veg. Would be able to use the money I make to buy a few essentials. Maybe everything I'd need so I could do plenty of baking. I might even be able to sell a bit of what I bake too.

I think that it'd be on a piece of land near Norwich, as Norwich feels like home for me right now. It'd be near enough that I could walk or cycle in (I'd have to get a lift in when I was bringing my produce in to sell at the farmer's market, of course). I'd come in a few times a week. Catch up with people I know. Maybe gatecrash the philosophy society at UEA, if my intellectual needs demand such things. Would be able to keep up with all the wonderful music and art that Norwich has to offer too.

I think, in the ideal version of my daydream, I'd have had some capital when I decided to set up my farm. Then, maybe, after I've settled into my rural lifestyle, I'd have enough money left over that I would be able to build a little recording studio. I'd be able to use it to noodle around in, recording silly little songs. I'd invite my friends and other musicians I admire to come stay on the farm and use the studio for free. Maybe I'd even be able to finance it all by renting it out now and then.

I'd be there, in the place I call home, with my animals and my land and my music and my thoughts. My friends would be nearby. And I'd feel content. Tranquil.

Occasionally, in my daydreams, there is someone there with me. I don't really know who, but someone. Someone to share my home, my land and my life with. Although at the moment that possibility seems the most remote of all, as I'm a bit of a mess. Maybe once I'm on my farm, at peace with myself, then it'll seem more real.

Until then I'll just dream.